Friday, February 11, 2022

The Bird(s) of Passage(s)

"A horse rears up in an attempt to defend itself against an enormous vulture-like bird circling above its head."
Fighting a Enormous Bird,
from Old Book Illustrations

ISSUE 1

The parchment cracks and sheds as you unroll and flatten it on the sitting-room table. Every edition has an air of antiquity about it. The Bird of Passage, volume unknown, issue unknown. Print run of two, or perhaps two hundred thousand. This one arrived today, tightly rolled and slipped into your daypack at some point during your morning errands. Who delivered it? Don’t ask stupid questions.

Some of the contents make you wince, or smile, or gasp in disbelief. Some excerpts take you back to your childhood, while others dig up ancestral memories predating your great grandparents. Still others conjure sights and thoughts from unknown distances and times yet to occur. Every word sticks like a barb, ripping parts of you away as you move to the next.

You tightly roll the parchment and return it to your daypack as soon as you finish reading, careful to not introduce any more damage than necessary. This one has three, maybe four reads left to it. Departing into the night, you meander through the streets until you find the tavern with the right look. At the bar, a silver-haired woman scribbles intently in her journal. You slide the rolled parchment into her cloak pocket as you pass and find a seat further down the bar. There’s a drink waiting for you, and it will do for now.

ISSUE 2

The marketplace is dull this time of year. It’s the same tired material by the same complacent vendors. The people of letters have grown fat selling variations of the same stories, and the new voices spend more time carousing than honing their craft. They think much too highly of themselves, and their work shows it: pompous drivel, deliberately outrageous. No chance they’d ever point their analytical eye inward to learn that lesson, though. No time spent in cultivation.

Maybe it’s time to travel again. Hire a porter and tour the exotic north. See how those people live an authentic life. I could hire the tribe’s story-keeper to return with me; heavens know those people won’t produce any high literature on their own.

“Nothing catching you, good sir?” The merchant has a wide, earnest smile. I must have made my displeasure too quiet. I continue looking through his selection with a deep sigh.

“Oh, plenty catching, but releasing just as quick.” I wave him away without raising my gaze.

“No, no, you’ll not find any substance in that pulp, to be sure. Not for a cultivated mind like yours.”

“You pandering out, I’ll have you—” I look up in a rage to see that same broad smile and the merchant holding a small, thin volume in his hand.

“What you need is something different. Something exotic. I assure you, you’ve not read these stories before.”

“The Bird of Passage. A serial journal? Never heard of it,” though there is something alluring about its weathered cover, its uneven lettering, the musky aroma of far-away lands, sweat, blood. I tremble as I reach for my purse. “How much?”

“One of those coins would be too much. Don’t you worry, I’ll take something worth far less in exchange.” The merchant smiling that big, generous smile. He sets the small text in my hand, heavier than I was expecting. My eyes flutter closed and my knees buckle. I can hear the smile in his voice before I drift to sleep. “Caught you.”

ISSUE 3

Intersession is always a quiet time on campus. Faculty members awaiting their new appointments—waiting to see if they will have a job in a month’s time—have left town in droves, and the students have been scarce since their final exams. Not that the current crop spends much time in the library, anyhow. You are of a traditional demeanor, so you prefer things this way. Quiet.

Weeding season again, and you’re taking your list through the stacks. You can’t afford to be precious about the sanctity of books when space is at a premium and so many titles are unused or overused. A pristine copy of the peaceful history of the Kesch people, long since decimated by rampaging colonists. Never lent in 20 years, not even worth being a freebie. Clean books like this make fair kindling. You check it off your list and set it on your cart. A reproduction of some controversial new critical treatise, cheap ink smeared and the low-weight paper creased and torn. You’ll order another one, and today can be a lucky day for the next graduate student you see. Or, perhaps, it too can stoke the furnace. You check it off your list and set it on your cart. The middle ground: that’s the secret for a long shelf life.

You enjoy having a steady job, a steady process. Your cart fills over the course of a few hours, and you begin to make your way back, draping a small red ribbon at the end of the last shelf you thinned. Walking at a steady pace, you glance down the aisles, more out of habit than anything. No students here to mishandle the books. No new faculty helplessly out of depth with research and instruction demands. Quiet and more quiet.

The quiet ends with a gasp: your shocked gasp at seeing a wildly disarranged section of journals, hundreds spilling off the shelf and onto the floor. You’d just been over this section yesterday! Exasperated, you shove your cart aside and stride down the row. Frayed and torn, the titles strewn about are in worse condition than any you’ve ever seen. You’ll need a shovel and a barrow for this. You grimace as you reach into the pile to see if you can find something—anything—salvageable. Immediately, you touch intact vellum, out of place among the pulp. You carefully retrieve it and gently brush it off, shed pages of other texts sloughing to the floor in wet rot. The Bird of Passage. An unfamiliar text, an unexpected loudness.

Nestled atop the mass of discard and decay, you are quite comfortable. As you open to the first page, you feel a blaze stoked inside yourself, and with a bellow, you are consumed.


THE BIRD OF PASSAGE was an idea I had for a TTRPG zine back before I ever really explored the existing zine scene. Born out of short-form adventure hooks and scattershot ideas, it fizzled a little because constantly writing minuscule adventures without ever building them into anything is tough. Usually when I have an idea worth putting into pixels, I tend to flesh it out a little more. These were 500-word flash fictions, and as much as I enjoyed writing them, as I explored the TTRPG space I found myself wanting to make (slightly) bigger things.

Still, there were aspects I loved and wish to continue in some fashion. Namely, the above blurbs. In my mind, THE BIRD OF PASSAGE is multitudinous. It’s something of a secret society unto itself. Plus, the zine exists in the worlds within itself. People in the stories encountered the book and found it vaguely menacing. Esoteric. Pretentious? Totally, and that’s probably why these were my favorite parts to write. In the first, the narrator is in on the secret. In the second, the narrator is unworthy of it. In the third, the narrator is engulfed by it.

The chances of me fully realizing my initial goal for the zine are low: full-time employment, lots of other writing projects, additional hobbies, and attempting to be an attentive parent and partner… these things all take time. Still, I often think of the people who get their hands on a copy. I know it affects them, as it has affected me.

Monday, February 7, 2022

CHAIN MAIL: January '22 - Day 3 - Adventures in the City of Fools

On the road and from the outside, it's any city: all walls, travelers going to and fro, all the smells and sounds of a large, varied intersection of civilization. Inside, though, it manages to be every city. Not sure I'll ever wrap my mind around it. You hear stories, of course, and they're all contradictory, but now that I've spent a couple nights, I'm never going to doubt what I hear about this place.

We landed in a surprisingly cozy neighborhood of beached coral. This whole corner feels like a snapshot of a thriving underwater reef. Lush aquatic grasses line the streets, and the massive organic structures are lived-in and ageless. You'd expect them to be cracking and faded under the weight of time—each step feels impossible, uncanny—but they're hardy and vibrant as they must have ever been. Hard to imagine them being moreso. 

I'm a little stunned that Guy hasn't been more excited to be here. There's a mushroom that blooms in abundance among the grasses and at the corners of the buildings, but they're uncharacteristically disinterested. Shit— they saw me writing about them. Have at it, I guess.

Commonplace toadstools. Non-toxic. Something big died here, and I'm ready to go, Fulton. Caravan's waiting. 

A fair point. They're right to be a little on-edge and yes, we're leaving tomorrow. While I spent the past couple days asking around for a bead on the Caravan, Denove and Pipro went off and made friends with a certain fraternal organization. Won't name them here; this hasn't been the most secure journal of late. My B! - P!

Anyhow, with the brotherhood's noted distaste for psychedelia, Guy's had to keep mum on everything that makes them Fun. A real shame, too; I can't imagine what a steady microdose would do to open up these streets. Might even fire up a comms channel to the Big Dead they feel beneath us and share some secrets about the real shit, but I digress, I'm documenting Pip and Den's "networking."

One thrown arm wrestling competition later, half of the new friends are very happy, half less-so, and Pip has two new bodyguards who can't stand each-other. That'll work itself out, I'm sure. I'm just glad she ditched her ersatz napalm. I kept having a dream where we'd catch up to the Caravan and promptly detonate the back third of it. The thing she got in exchange is a lot spicier, though, so I won't be comfortable giving much more detail until the City's a distant memory.

Clearly, the longer you stick around, the more "City of Fools" becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

- Fulton



Hello and goodbye, City of Fools! We had a couple other carousing incidents that happened out of Fulton's line of sight, so we'll see how those play into things in months to come. This is my second play-session journal for Noora Rose's inspiring CHAIN MAIL. They're fun to write and play, so I imagine this'll become a monthly thing as the gang settles into their life on the Caravan.

Speaking of the gang, here's a brief intro! I love them all and am prepping for funnel-related devastation.

  • Fulton (he/him) is a Professional Turncoat. A drug-addled spendthrift, he picked up the journaling habit in his last war as a way to calm his nerves at the prospect of being found out. He keeps himself presentable and makes a good face for the outfit, at least until someone he betrayed recognizes him. That's one of the perks of hopping a caravan into the outer spheres. 
  • Denove (they/them) is a Polybody Brigadier, number 11. They keep a stoic façade, but having lived, died, and repeated ten times before, they have fragments of their former selves. Not memories, exactly, but emotions and sensations that belong to someone else. They desperately want this to be their last go-round, but are somewhat doubtful.
  • Pipro (she/her) is a Pyro-Alchemist. She's, you know, a little explosive. Eager to push a plan into motion, even at great and horrible risk with lasting consequence. Most recently, she pawned off four jars of homemade napalm in exchange for a slightly damaged (and wildly prohibited) radiation-gun she knew how to fix. For all her bluster and bombast, she knows how to slink into a crowd and disappear when she needs to.
  • Nico Tib (he/they) is a Ziggurat Huckster. A poor man's rich-man, he is over-the-top ostentatious (think Dan Flashes) and pushy, and it gets him into a lot of trouble. He started the game with next to nothing after a scam gone wrong, and he's wildly jealous of the successes his travelling companions have had.
  • Fun Guy (they/he/she) is a Psychopharmycologist. Always in a good mood, they are a researched scholar on medicinal mushrooms, and they let their research overtake everything else to the point of curious naiveté. Long hair, loose clothes, you know who I'm talking about. They are also the financier of this trip to the Caravan.

Tuesday, February 1, 2022

CHAIN MAIL: January '22 - Day 0 - Outside the City of Fools

Illustration of a ruined wall and archway on an ill-maintained road. "Outskirts of Rome" by Jules Laurens
"Outskirts of Rome" by Jules Laurens

Running behind, but we'll be damned if we don't catch up.

Money's a funny thing. We claw and scrabble for it, push it around, pull some back, but there's never enough for us or our people. Never enough to reach across the deep chasm dividing us and get a good hand-hold on stability. Never enough when the debtors round the corner on our debtors. And those that got it? They act like it's our fault that we don't. So we do things for it—things we shouldn't. We spend so much of our lives on it, and... See that? Spend. It's pervasive, and I always thought it would be the thing to bring me down.

But then Guy sells a pinch of spores smaller than the head of a nail and we're all outfitted with pink bubbly wine and real meat-steaks and the means to start out for something real, something lasting. We're headed to the Caravan. Nico nearly ruined things for us at the last waystation, but he swears it'll be worth it. No small amount of fortune-jealousy there, but they're not the only one. I get it sometimes. I'm sure almost all of us do. 

"Almost all of us" is also who avoided the Flux. Just me for that one, go figure. Lovely stuff. It set us back by a day or two, and I'm taking in more water than the rest, but I should be back to baseline by the time we catch up.

The Caravan. God, I can't wait. 

The road, the routine, the shared goal. Denove is excited, too, though they'd never say. I know they're tired of marching, changing, betraying, running—and for what? The grand reward of not enough money. Well, that'll matter less, and soon. We'll be in the City by the golden hour, we'll manage our business here, stock up well, and track down our new forever lives. It'll be a beautiful thing to be still in movement, stable in our shared instability, and maybe we'll all find a way around the chasm.

- Fulton

THANKS FOR INCLUDING ME! Glad to be on the road with ppl who REALLY care! - P!

Stop reading my journal. -F



I hate being late. Growing up, there was no sin more cardinal than being the last one to arrive at whatever gathering was happening, and I have internalized it something terrible. I am the "gotta get to the airport four hours early just in case" drag and the "I know our meeting isn't for another half hour but I'm here now and will awkwardly wait until you're ready" burden. Even now, writing this in real time, I'm thinking, "yeah, that's not great, but it would be way worse if I made them wait a couple minutes because I didn't get there in time." Hate it.

I say this to explain the pain I feel in not getting on board with Noora Rose's CHAIN MAIL sooner. The first month has passed, and I am late and miserable about it. As the month turned, I said farewell to a couple Patreon pledges that were causing me active anxiety, and I said hello to this new play-by-mail TTRPG adventure and perhaps the closest we have to Trace Italian. It's incredibly cool, has been a lot of fun to play solo (I tend to bounce off of solo or journaling games, sadly!), and is full of all the delightful flavor-items Noora is so good at peppering throughout her work. This could be an "I LOVE THIS" post. Maybe it will be before too long!

So, naturally, I'm projecting my lateness anxiety onto my caravanners. They're late, too, but they're going to fight like hell to catch up. Today, I got to meet them for a zero session. One of the first rules in the City of Fools is "do not allow yourself to become overly attached" and, whoops, already messed that one up. I'll probably do a post about them in a few days, and I have a lot more to explore and resolve before we leave the City and head out in search of the Caravan we just missed.

1d12 Encounters in the Riparian Forest

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