Immortal Festival

For me, the year 2021 has been about finishing things. Music projects, writing projects: "just get it done" has been the mantra. Rather than fighting for an unattainable perfectionism, it's been liberating to put a cap on a project and move on to the next one. It's way more satisfying to be done enough with something than to keep hemming and hawing, fussing and fine-tuning until all potential passion has been siphoned out of my brain and the thing ultimately never leaves my notebook or hard drive or what have you. You know: the way I've operated forever.

A fun side-effect has been really quick jaunts in a new creative direction, inspired by the creativity of the indie TTRPG space. We're not going to call this "OSR" territory, but, you know, similar philosophy. Example: IMMORTAL FESTIVAL is a very brief adventure of sorts. It's a mini-game that takes place over 24 hours in the fantasy game world of your choosing. Hell, I think it would be a blast of a detour in the laborious and painstakingly realistic sci-fi or historical reenactment game, but I have a bigger tolerance for genre bashing than some. The title came from a random title generator (fun) and the pitch was basically, "What if immortality was mundane?" That's it! If everyone had access to the same wild preternatural powers, who would really care?

Well, the deities who bestowed those powers would kind of care. And maybe there should be a little restriction to make it a special limited-time gift. There, the stakes are raised, and the playing field is still level. But let's assume most people would lose their shit and abandon all pretense of responsibility the instant they could fly or whatever, so who is going to do all the normally mundane things that keep a civilization rolling? This concept was very funny to me: you've got your duty or honor-bound adventurers who are suddenly no more able or gifted than anyone else, but instead of being able to have fun with their boost, they'll be the only ones capable of like going to the DMV or baking a bunch of cookies.

The rest came together over a couple evenings brainstorming powers, domains, and divine trials. And then...? It was kind of done. I like the idea of writing longer-form adventures, but this one turned into what it needed to be, and was one of the simplest layout jobs I've had in my short time playing at TTRPG design. Having the freedom to just get it done helps me arrive at the point where I know what the thing is. IMMORTAL FESTIVAL wasn't ever going to be a big adventure, and it didn't need to be written or explained to death in-text. It was going to be a little weird thing from go, and now it's done and I can try something new.

Corpse Candles - A Dream

You stand at the end of a procession of your forebears: giants who march into the depths of a dark and endless cavern. They carry torches, but the line extends well past the point where you can distinguish anything more than shadows stuttering along the cave walls. In a solemn voice, the giant immediately in front of you begs you not to follow down below, but you are already in motion, moving up the line, incapable of stopping or looking back.

You clamber over difficult terrain until you reach a precipace and peer into a wide expanse of these torchbearers marching into the darkness.

"Not your place," says the giant, placing a massive hand on your shoulder. The hand is warm and comforting. "Not your time. Another tomb."

"Another corpse, but not yours."

The giant hands you a torch: an unwieldy staff that you struggle to hold aloft even using both hands. There is a faint hint of a smile at the edges of the giant's mouth as they nod, turn, and retake their position at the end of the line. They march until you are unable to see them, and gradually the torch becomes less of a burden. You raise it to get a better view and wake, clutching a small wooden match, fully burnt.

-

This dream appeared in Volume 1 Issue 1 of my ill-fated zine, THE BIRD OF PASSAGE, and it is something I return to again and again. It inspired an EP worth of anarchist and antifascist dungeon synth in my music project, In The Vast Forest. And I think it's just kind of nice and spooky. I am a big proponent of in-game dreams as a play-within-a-play for a character; a chance to monologize about in-character concerns and potentially get a piece of symbolic information. Or maybe just something cryptic and nonsensical. Or maybe something that didn't really mean anything to me, the game referee, but does mean a lot to the player or character or both. 

An in-game dream takes an already complex dynamic of shared storytelling and both simplifies and explodes it into a moment that ideally distills those complex feelings into a singular image stand-in and memory trigger. The next time that character handles a matchstick, whether accepting or giving one, they will feel the parallel of their dream-giant. Are they the ones marching into darkness? Are they lighting the way? Are they waiting for the correct corpse?

Am I even allowed to do this again? It seems like it should be forbidden.

There was a time when I had a troubling penchant for creating new blogs. Want a random list of quotes that were inspiring or insightful for a 16-19 year old? I had a blog for that. Want a space for me to force sleep deprivation and take notes... for science? Yeah, there was one of those. Heck, I found one just now where I wrote about how difficult it was to find good friends to watch anime with. Yes, I had (and thanks to the power of the internet, still have) about a dozen ill-formed, poorly thought-out blogs hosted on blogspot dot com. Most of them lasted maybe a year. Maybe two. A couple came and went over the course of a decade. None of them have been touched since 2009.

UNTIL NOW, MOTHERFATHERS.

That's right, it looks like this platform gets used in the ttrpg space and, hey, I enjoy reading some of those thoughts. And also hey, I may have a thought or two of my own I would rather jot down somewhere than let it languish in a journal that, realistically, I'm going to discard, shelve, forget like so many blogspot domain registrations.

I'm calling this A PHANTOM FUNERAL, which is ostensibly my publishing imprint name. I got a domain and everything. It's even on a couple zines I've cobbled together. Will this page redirect there? Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Let me think about it.

Until then, I'm going to bask in some well-earneddeserved nostalgia, my job complete in crafting a "i am writing on a blog" post. Until next time.

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO:STRFKR - Girls Just Want to Have Fun